Yes, folks, it's almost time for that most glorious of Christian anti-holidays where we drag our kids to church in scarecrow and pumpkin costumes, maybe put on a pageant, and have them pick candy out of boxes, all while wishing they were out trick or treating.
I have to say that out of all the holidays completely fabricated by Christians to oppose a popular secular holiday, Harvest-ween has to be the most fun. In honor of the fast approaching anti-holiday, and the entire Harvest-ween season in general, I've dug up this piece of beautiful harvestry.
Count my blessings? Okay, hideous pumpkin thing!
1. Thank you, Lord, for my home, and the food you provide.
2. Thank you, Lord, for my beautiful wife.
3. Thank you, Lord, for my brothers and sisters in Christ.
4. Thank you, Lord, for all this awful Jesus junk, manufactured by my brothers and sisters in Christ, giving me an outlet for my cynicism and various other frustrations.
5. Finally, thank you, Lord, for my readers. Seriously, you guys rock.
A note about Halloween evangelism: Some people do see it as an evangelism opportunity and hand out tracts on Halloween.
Generally, I'm opposed to tract evangelism, opting for forming more long term relationships. But on one night, when tons of kids are coming to your door, you don't really have time to form relationships, so you try to get in what you can, and that's okay. But don't ever, ever, hand out a tract without candy. That's as bad as leaving a tract at a restaurant without a tip.