Apparently Jesus works for UPS now. Imagine if Jesus was as reliable as the good ol'e Boys in Brown:
(sticky note on door reads:)
Mr./Mrs. Such and Such,
We attempted to deliver your salvation today, but unfortunately you were not present to sign for it. You may either come and retrieve your salvation at our central regional office (good luck!), or wait for us to remember to deliver it three weeks from next Sunday. Hope you don't die before then! Thank you.
-H.S.D. (Holy Spirit Delivery)