Does this sound familiar?
Herb: Honey, are you ready yet?
Barb: Almost, I just can't figure out what scent to wear!
Herb: Why not the Chanille No. 6?
Barb: No, I wore that last time. I want to my perfume to say "I love the Lord!"
Herb: Like...olfactory evangelism!
Barb: Yes, exactly! I wish I could smell like baby Jesus!
Well, now you can Barb! Yes, you can smell just like the baby Jesus! No, not like hay and camel sh**! You can smell like Frankincense, Myrrh, and Spikenard, whatever the hell that is, with the new, patented Scents of the Bible!
Scents of the Bible contains a recipe of carefully selected oils and fragrances that, when combined, create the intoxicating scents of Frankincense, Myrrh, and Spikenard, whatever the hell that is. They'll have you humming "We Three Kings".
...really, though, we just made them up, because we know for a fact that you can't recognize the smell of Spikenard, whatever the hell that is.
(I know the box says 'Eau de Parfum'. Seriously, though, when I was a kid I thought that 'Eau de Toilette' meant Scent of the Toilet)