Wednesday, November 01, 2006

Eau de Toilette

Does this sound familiar?

Herb: Honey, are you ready yet?
Barb: Almost, I just can't figure out what scent to wear!
Herb: Why not the Chanille No. 6?
Barb: No, I wore that last time. I want to my perfume to say "I love the Lord!"
Herb: Like...olfactory evangelism!
Barb: Yes, exactly! I wish I could smell like baby Jesus!

Well, now you can Barb! Yes, you can smell just like the baby Jesus! No, not like hay and camel sh**! You can smell like Frankincense, Myrrh, and Spikenard, whatever the hell that is, with the new, patented Scents of the Bible!

Scents of the Bible contains a recipe of carefully selected oils and fragrances that, when combined, create the intoxicating scents of Frankincense, Myrrh, and Spikenard, whatever the hell that is. They'll have you humming "We Three Kings".

...really, though, we just made them up, because we know for a fact that you can't recognize the smell of Spikenard, whatever the hell that is.

(I know the box says 'Eau de Parfum'. Seriously, though, when I was a kid I thought that 'Eau de Toilette' meant Scent of the Toilet)


7 comments:

Joel Bezaire said...

You said "Camel Sh**".

And "Spikenard".


Hee hee!

Seriously, this is one of the funniest posts yet. Whatever the hell that means.

Diesel said...

I knew the inventor of this stuff back when he was still perfecting the formula. I used to go over to his house and he'd have like six different translations of the Bible open, and he was furiously underlining and taking notes. I asked him what he was doing, and I THOUGHT he said he was trying to make SENSE of the Bible.

Carolina Cannonball said...

LOL... diesel.

Miss Kitty said...

"Not like hay and camel sh**!" Hahahahahaaaaaaaa!!!!!!

I always thought the Bible kinda smelled like...I dunno...paper.

Just Tom said...

My bible smells kind of like fake leather and must (not musk). Hey, that could be sexy. but, t's not like you would wear a perfume called Scents of the Nible to be sexy. Warning: may induce prayer. Or Warning, may induce pregnancy (the immaculate kind), which may induce vomiting which may induce prayer or at least the Lord's name used in vain.

Just Tom said...

I meant Scents of the Bible. sheesh. I'm always doing that.

The Ironic Catholic said...

very funny!