Friday, March 30, 2007

Godly Gaming

I'm sure you remember our last piece of interactive kitsch: The Bible Game.

I was lucky to stumble on this one with a search for Christian video games. Mostly it comes up with links of people condemning games. I actually found this one through an ad for Godly games.
This one is called "Catechumen":

I can't really say it better or more insanely than the site's blurb.


Choose from eight powerful spiritual weapons. Each weapon has its own unique use. Maximize your firepower by learning each weapon's abilities. Find the lighting sword, the drill sword, the explosive staff and more.

Encounter Satan's minions and banish them back to their evil realm. Evil lurks everywhere you turn. With your Sword of the Spirit in hand, you must confront the demons head on and show them nothing can overcome the power of the Holy Spirit.

Restore your spiritual health by finding scrolls containing God's Word. In Catechumen, you survive by faith. When your faith gets too low, pick up the many scrolls scattered across the lands to renew your faith and continue your journey.

Descend deeper and deeper into the depths of the underworld. Your journey will take you into the very heart of evil, through 18 hand-crafted, highly detailed levels. Each level you visit is unique and has its own secrets you must uncover.

Rescue your captured Christian brethren. Your mentor and some of his flock have been taken hostage by the evil Roman Empire, controlled by Satan himself. The forces of darkness and evil will claim a great victory if he does not survive! Take up this quest and fight for the Lord!

These game developers seem to be taking a pretty liberal hand with history. Apparently, Satan personally possessed the Roman emperor. Did he move subsequently from emperor to emperor, like apartment hopping? Anyway, the ancient Roman empire lasted 1200 years. I'd say he did pretty well for himself.

I have a message for the parents out there.

If you really don't like video games, swallow your pride and buy these games for your kids! I guarantee you, once your kids play these games, they will plead with you to never buy a game for them again!

It's the quickest way to stick it to the video game market, trust me.

Sorry about the re-post. Something was wrong with the previous one. The picture was missing and you couldn't make or check comments. So, if this shows up on twice, sorry, just deal with it.

Dude, I totally just traded in my Nintendo for a new's got Blu-Ray.

Oh, and to put a plug in: Children of Men came out on DVD today. If you don't like spoilers, don't read past the third paragraph on that Wikipedia article there.

I personally think it was the best film of 2006. I know that means nothing coming from a guy you don't know from Adam, but believe me when I say that I know a good movie when I see one, and a bad one when I don't. Buy the movie today. In fact, buy it now...RIGHT NOW! You heard me, buy it right now, here!


Diesel said...

Catachumen sounds like something you'd put in an Easter cake.

Children of Men was excellent.

Miss Kitty said...


NOw that stores are beginning to mark Easter merch down by 20% or more, I know we can round you up some wonderfully terrible Christian kitsch. :-)

Carolina Cannonball said...

oy! don't let any DRE's see this, or we will all be playing it in RCIA. LOL

Sher said...

I married a couple of Satan's minions... and then divorced them. I definitly don't want to play a video game about them.