Sunday, February 18, 2007

The Body of Christ

Once again, it's time for Kitschy Wishes, where I bring to you all the non-existent Christian merchandise that you want to see but are too ashamed to invent!

This week, we bring you the latest in Christian fitness! Move over Dr. Ben Lerner! There's a new Christian health guru in town! You asked for it! No, really, you did. Look here. It's the Cross-Trainer™!

Scripture tells us to imitate Christ in all things, so, why not in the way we exercise, too!

Using state of the art tension "Crosses" that you can adjust to any resistance level, the Cross trainer lets you care for your earthly vessel the Christian way! Plus, you can unlatch the outer Cross to use as a free weight and experience your Lord's journey to Calvary, with that old rugged cross on His back!

Remember, as children of God, we have the mind of Christ, and now, with the Cross-Trainer's™ help, you can be His body, and have it too!

This product was the singular inspiration of Rob from Truth Like the Dark!

Today's kitsch is brought to you by the letter Q and


re6smith said...

Hey, where's my props, pal! A "Thanks for this idea, Rob!" would have been nice.

But glad you found it funny enough to repeat!

Gregory said...

I don't give credit to anyone, except God. So shove off!

Just kidding, it was a good idea, and I just didn't think about it. Awful rude of me! Glad to see you still love me enough to come back.

Anyway, that's why we have Jesus, eh?

Gregory said...

Just to anyone reading this:

It was Rob's idea, and awful stupid of me to forget to give credit where credit was due. So anway, here's to Rob! *lifts a glass*

Rob, you may die one day, but we will all remember your Cross-Trainer™!

Miss Kitty said...

I'm surprised this isn't actually on the market yet. Whew, awful.

Greg, I will be sending you some kitsch shortly.

re6smith said...

I think we can consider this a Rob/Gregory joint. Thanks for Christian Charity.

Dinosaur Mom said...

This graphic didn't load on my computer. I feel strangely relieved. Let me know when you need a design for an Elvis and Jesus commemorative plate, though.

Miss Kitty said...

DinosaurMom: How about an Elvis/Dale Earnhardt Sr./Jesus commemorative plate?

Diesel said...

Now we can all have our own crosses to bear... with 6 easy payments of $39.95!

Carolina Cannonball said...

holy hell, man. HI-LAR-IOUS!