Monday, September 22, 2008

Don't Stand for that Devil Music

It's a little disturbing to me when I find Christian merchandise I'm pretty sure I never could have made up. Then I realize it's less work for me, so everything's cool.

Do any of you play video games? Sorry, stupid question.

Well, pretend that you do. Those music games are really popular right now. You know the ones. They're called like "Guitar God" or "Satanic Band" or something like that. You strum this fake, plastic guitar and press buttons in time to popular rock 'n roll songs. Sure, that sounds like oodles of fun, you're thinking. But I bet you wish that instead of getting your kicks to soul-corrupting tunes like "Slow Ride" and "Black Magic Woman" (need I say more?) you could jam out to something a little more, I don't know, holy?

No? Well, apparently someone did.

As you can see, this is Guitar Praise: Solid Rock. Get it? Solid Rock? As in "On Christ the solid rock I stand, all other ground is sinking sand." Clever, eh?

Seriously though, I have to give them some credit for moving beyond the usual Christian video game offering. However the fact that it's yet another attempt of Christians trying to copy what's popular in mainstream culture is a mark against them. I've railed on the Church's apparent lack of originality before.

One indication of just how far they want to take this can be seen in a quote from the game's Features page: "Power Duel Mode sends surprises to mess with your opponent."

Surprises?
Seriously? Apparently you can send a bouquet of flowers with a nice note attached, or a box of kittens. I hope they claw your opponent's face off.

The song list does contain a few bands or artists notable for being genuinely talented in a sea of mediocrity (Caedmon's Call, David Crowder Band, Skillet). But there are definitely some questionable choices on there, such as tobyMac. The guy doesn't even capitalize his own name, and that always bothered me.

I think Jesus would even have a hard time listening to that guy droning on for three minutes.

5 comments:

Aaron Harlow said...

mwahahahaha! I HAVE to have this NOW!

Matthew W. Johnson said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Matthew W. Johnson said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Matthew W. Johnson said...

O...M....G....
They have finally gone too far....
But if Aaron buys it we are so having a guys night...

Just looked over the song list.... NO STRYPER?!?! COME ON!!! I'm going to write an angry letter...err email..

Also, evidently it gets better: http://www.familychristian.com/shop/product_image.asp?ProdID=22993

Allen's Brain said...

Hey! "Black Magic Woman" is an obvious warning against dating voodoo priestesses--and what could be more Christian than that?