Jesus Just Loves the Little Children

I hate tearing down mom and pop type establishments, but when something is weird, it's just weird. I can't do anything about that. Some of you may recall the Lamp of God.

Well, I found its little brother. This is the Miraculous Jesus Night Light.


And why is the Miraculous Jesus Night Light so miraculous? Because...

...it follows you wherever you go. It's cut in a way that makes it look like Jesus' gaze is following you around. You can find this little piece of Gospel magic at Lil's Crafts & Creations". Here's the blurb from someone I'm guessing is Lil:

This "miraculous" Jesus nightlight is a 3-D image of Jesus, that appears to move & follow you wherever you walk in the room. The images above are all of the same nightlight sculpture, but taken from different angles. Your children will love this nightlight, as Jesus appears to be watching over them wherever they are. Your children may (like mine) receive comfort, security, and relief from those sleepless and scary nights. Each nightlight is custom hand made and painted by a ceramic craftsman (my mom) who takes pride in her work. The light is approx. 6" x 8" x 4: in size. Makes the perfect Christmas gift.

Imagine being a frightened child. You are having a nightmare where some beastly, hairy man with white glowing eyes is chasing you. Suddenly, with great relief, you wake up, only to find yourself staring at a beastly, hairy man with white glowing eyes.

Child: Do you love me, night light Jesus?
NLJ: Yes, child.
Child: Do you watch over me when I'm sleeping, night light Jesus?
NLJ: Of course, child.
Child: Night light Jesus, are you going to eat me?
NLJ: ...probably.

Then his head spins around in a circle.

Wanna see something really scary?

I'm guessing this woman mistakes her children's insomnia and unbridled fear for comfort, security, and relief. Of course, this is all not to mention the fact that, once again, Jesus is a white man...literally.

When I was little I used to dream that I was being chased around my house by a big, scary Humor-Blogs.com.

30-Day Risk Free Trial!

It's a short post for today. Miss Kitty from Educated and Poor and the Ironic Catholic have been sending me some good stuff, but I saw this on a car today, and I could not resist.

Wouldn't that be great if salvation had a free trial period?

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Now for a limited time only, take advantage of our thirty day in-home trial! You pay only shipping and handling fees. Experience the joys and security of salvation through Jesus Christ with no commitment, no obligations, no pressure! If at the end of your trial period you're not completely satisfied, simply send Him back! And don't worry, the devil will always take you back.


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To the makers of this bumper sticker, who obviously don't believe in eternal security, I have only one thing to say, courtesy of our friend Lex Luthor.

(Warning: If you have not seen Superman Returns, you will not understand this.)

See Message Here

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Behold!

The Lamp of God, that takes away the dimly lit rooms of the world!

I love Jesus Christ, but excuse me if I don't feel like having the living shite scared out of me every time I turn on the light.